10 Signs You're Dealing With Power Struggles In Your Relationship & How To Cope

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There are subtle manipulation tactics being exchanged

Subjective and objective perceptions of power can differ due to nuanced daily interactions in relationships. Manipulation tactics like gaslighting and snide remarks undermine decision-making skills and confidence. Recognizing and addressing these signs is crucial for healthy relationships.

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You're both competitive

Competitiveness in relationships can lead to power struggles and conflict. Confident individuals take a collaborative approach, while those feeling less powerful resort to competition. Insecurities drive the need to assert capabilities against partners, highlighting personal insecurities.

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There's passive aggressiveness between you

Passive-aggressive behaviors indirectly seek control in a relationship. It's a defense mechanism driven by attachment anxiety, signaling insecurities and a need for reassurance. However, this creates tension and conflicts. Effective communication can resolve these issues.

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Someone withholds affection when they don't get their way

Avoidant individuals exert control in relationships through detachment and withholding affection, creating a power struggle. This behavior can make partners feel uncertain and manipulate them. Effective communication is key in addressing needs and boundaries instead of resorting to withholding tactics.

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You have different goals and values

Divergent life goals can lead to conflict in relationships. Good compromises maintain individuality while playing a role in the partnership. Research shows autonomy is important for motivation in relationships, and encroached values can trigger power struggles and unhealthy behaviors.

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Responsibilities aren't being shared equally

Social norms can conceal power struggles in relationships. Gender-specific roles and unequal division of household chores can lead to conflict and decreased sexual desire. The exploitation of vulnerability and withholding affection exacerbate power dynamics within couples.

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You're dismissive of each other's feelings

Dismissive behaviors in relationships can indicate an avoidant attachment style. People with this style may struggle with expressing emotions due to past experiences. Conflicting desires for intimacy and maintaining power can lead to power struggles. Seeking professional help like REBT therapy can help address these issues.

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One person has to dominate the conversation

Low relationship power can lead to aggressive behavior in relationships. Perceived power imbalances, such as in social status or earnings, can trigger a need for control. Instead of dominating, couples should negotiate and share power, recognizing each other's strengths and weaknesses for healthier relationships.

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You're both keeping score

Score-keeping in relationships indicates a power struggle, where partners use past actions as leverage. This cycle breeds dissatisfaction and feelings of inadequacy. Instead, we should examine the underlying reasons for this behavior and seek reassurance and open communication to build a stronger relationship.

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You bicker in public

Public bickering in relationships indicates a power struggle and can harm both partners' mental health. It is a form of relational aggression that manipulates social standing. Setting healthy boundaries for discussions is crucial to promote mutual respect and ensure both partners feel safe.

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You don't trust each other

Unequal power balance in relationships hinders trust. The more power we seek, the less connected we become. Trust is built on vulnerability and giving power to our partner. Without this, we miss out on the intimacy and happiness that trust brings.

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How to cope with a power struggle in your relationship

Power struggles can be an opportunity for growth in relationships. Toxic situations should be ended, but if there's potential for improvement, both partners must be willing to put in the work. Constructive communication and validating each other's perspectives can help reconcile power struggles and foster equitable relationships.

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